Despues de una semana..

I have been home from Bolivia now for a little over a week.  It seems crazy and it has gone so fast, yet at the same time it seems like weeks since I've seen my beautiful Bolivian family.  I miss them.  A lot.  I miss Bolivia.  I miss Cochabamba.  I miss the kids at El Centro.  I miss my simple, beautiful South American life.  

I'm just now blogging since my departure and last week in Cochabamba.  Mostly because I'm finding this really hard.  Nothing has been easy about coming home-- saying good-bye, not knowing when or if I will return, & re-adjusting to American life.  I think for the most part, I've just tried not to think about it.  That really stinks.  But I've found it to be easiest when I just enjoy my time here and don't actually think about how much I miss Bolivia and the Quiroga family especially.

I know that not thinking about it is not the way to deal with my re-entry and culture shock of being back in the States.  I know that I need to face my time there and the after-effects and thoughts about it head on.  I really wish in some ways I had right away.  But I think I needed time too; a lot of things have been really hard since being back and I've wanted to ease myself in.

I've never experienced anything quite like this.  I have experienced going to other countries--especially Haiti-- and coming back and missing it and everything.  But nothing can compare to the large range of emotions--strong emotions-- I've felt since being back from Bolivia.  A large part of it is my lack of understanding of them-- I feel like I don't even know or understand my own feelings & emotions-- so how am I supposed to explain them to somebody else?  That's another large part of my pushing all of my feelings to the side...

I feel like a large part of me is just broken.  Or missing.  I loved what I felt in Bolivia.  I loved where my heart was.  I loved my experience.  But right now I find myself confused.  Asking questions.  And unsure why I'm here-- in Iowa.  If people ask me about my time, I usually just share that it was an incredible experience, I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I made some amazing friends.  But I don't even know how to go deeper-- how to share my heart-- how to explain what I'm feeling and what I felt in that place.  I really haven't shared with anyone how much my experience has impacted me.  Part of me feels bad about that.  I feel like I should be able to use this experience and share it with people, etc.. I know that I just need time, though.  It will take time to process my emotions, thoughts, feelings..and I need to do that.  I need to face those things and deal with them rather than push them aside.  Because that is where I will really be blessed and learn so much from my experience.  

I would love to talk about Bolivia.  Really.  With anyone.  I would love to share my stories, what I've learned, the things I saw, and the many ways I was blessed and am continuing to be blessed by my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to serve, learn, and grow in Cochabamba.  If you would like to talk about my time there, I would love to talk with you!  It may be hard to form the words to truly describe my experience, but I would love to try.  And with that being said, I will continue to process and learn from my time there.  My prayer is that I would continue to be able to do that and that it wouldn't be painful, hard, etc.  I miss Bolivia so much, but I know that only means that I had such an amazing, blessed experience there and can't wait to return!

My last days in Bolivia were so bittersweet.  I got the flu in the night and was sick for an entire day on my second to last day there.  I was upset that I couldn't enjoy one of my last days there.  My sweet mother took such great care of me and I was feeling very humbled!  We spent a lot of precious family time together in our last days.  My heart was just sick thinking about having to leave.  My last morning I was all packed up and anxious to leave.  Joana and Leah prepared Joana's famous chocolate cake.  We ate it before my departure together.  I was able to give everyone the gifts I had for them, and many of the family members were able to say a few words to me.  I will never forget those words Mama Toty shared with me and the tears we both cried around the kitchen table.  After that was the hard good-byes.  I had to hug Joana, Jorge, and Isaac and the other girls good-bye.  Many tears were shed!  After that David took me and Mama Toty to a taxi.  We took a long, mostly silent taxi ride to the airport.  Mama sat with me in the airport for a long time because we were there quite early.  She never wastes a moment to teach a lesson, tell a story, and we talked quite a bit before my departure.  Saying good-bye to her was just so hard.  Saying good-bye to everyone was so very hard.  I can't say I've felt a heartbreak quite like that before.

I flew that day to Santa Cruz, Bolivia.  Me and another girl who was serving in Cochabamba stayed in a hotel that night.  It was a lot of fun to be able to explore a bigger city and see a different Bolivian city!  We got some supper and found their Plaza Principal.  We woke up early the next morning and were in a taxi to the airport by 6:30.  We were able to see a beautiful sunrise on the way.  

Seeing my family was so bittersweet as well, though.  I was so thankful to be back in my mother's arms after a very long day of travel.  Seeing my nephews the next day and the rest of my family was just so great!  But I was exhausted--mentally, emotionally.  Like I said, none of it has been easy.  It was most definitely much harder to be back than to originally go!  That was probably the most surprising part of my entire experience!  But looking back, I can just think about how thankful and blessed I am.  Thankful that I was given the opportunity.  Thankful for the many people who blessed me by giving towards my trip and making it possible.  Thankful to have met a wonderful family in Bolivia who quickly became true second family.  Thankful for my friendships at El Centro.  Thankful for the many ways in which God touched my heart.  

So, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for giving, praying, and blessing me on this journey!
I am one very blessed child of God.  

Adios y vaya con Dios,
Breanna

La escuela Biblica de vacaciones y el comienzo del fin...

My final week here in Cochabamba has begun, and it is very bittersweet.  I am ready to see my family, but I will miss the people who have become my 2nd family here so very much.

Last week we had VBS.  We ended up not being able to have it on Thursday because of the protests and everything.  However, we didn't have to drop anything because we made it all fit into Friday's schedule miraculously!  Friday was another really great day at VBS.  I was able to share the gospel with Leah's help using the Gospel Soccer Ball.  It is basically another version of the wordless book, where colors represent the different parts of the Gospel story.  We thought with the World Cup going on and all the kiddos that really love soccer, it would really help them remember the important Gospel story!  I think it went really well, and the kids really showed that they knew God's story.  

At the end of our time that day at VBS, Joana led a time where the kids could say good-bye for us.  It was a really bittersweet but special time.  The kids got in a big circle around us volunteers.  They got in close so some of them could lay their hands on us.  And then Joana led them in an echo prayer where they prayed over us, thanked us for coming, and wished us well.  Then after the prayer some of the kids took the microphone and said a few words for us if they wished.  Some of them said they would miss, others that they wished we would be safe in our travels, and that God would care for us.  It was so very sweet of all them.  It was such a special time to say good-bye to those kiddos that have stolen my heart.

Saturday we had our last morning of experiments.  We did experiments with water with the 4th-6th graders.  It went well once again, and it has been such a blessing to be able to teach them and interact with the older students at the center.  Saturday afternoon we went to the Cancha and did some shopping with Toty and Joana.  We then went down to El Prado and ended up getting ice cream at our favorite place and watching the very ending of the World Cup game.  

Sunday I had my last day of church.  I have been so very blessed to be a part of this church family while here.  Everyone has been so welcoming.  I will really miss the intimate worship setting and seeing everyone each week.  Before preaching, David spoke some words to me and then prayed for me as it was my last week with them.  At the end of the service, everyone got in a circle around me and laid hands on me while Mama Toty prayed for me.  As my sweet Bolivian mother was praying and choking up, I couldn't help but really tear up.  It will be so hard to leave these people that I love and that love me so well!  Her prayer will always be very special to me, as she prayed for my time with them and for my future.  One of the hardest parts of Sunday is that I was expecting my dear friend Arminda to come to church.  She always asks me if I'll be there and this week was no exception.  I kept waiting and waiting, but she never showed up.  I was expecting to say good-bye to her that day.. I feel very sad that I never really got the chance to say good-bye, as that was my last chance.  It is really hard not feeling that finality.... I will miss her so.  She is a sweet, sweet girl who has loved on me so much this trip. 

Sunday was a day for fiestas!! We were invited to two parties that day, so we had quite the busy day.  First, we had one of the teachers at the center, Laura's, baby shower.  It was so fun that she invited us.  We went with Toty and Joana.  There was lots of good food and games.  We had picked out a gift for her from all of us volunteers the day before at the Cancha.  We could only stay for a short time, but it was so fun to be a part of a celebration like that here in Bolivia.  

Then we headed straight over to the Porter's house for Natasha's QUINCEANERA!!  I have always wanted to experience a quinceanera so I finally got to!  It wasn't quite the extravagant event that they sometimes can be, but it was such a special time and we were so glad we could help Natasha celebrate!  She is truly a special girl, with such a beautiful smile and her joy for the Lord radiates!  The quinceanera is really a time to celebrate a girl becoming a woman.  We ate some really good food (my first amazing burger in a long time! yum!) and laughed a lot playing games with everyone.  Everyone was asked to bring a few words to say to Natasha.  We spent time all sharing what she means to us and got to hear letters read to her that were sent from family all around the world.  It was so special, and I am so glad I could be a part of that special celebration.  

Yesterday, Monday, we ended up going to Parque Tunari.  It is a national park where you can hike.  We were expecting to find a lake or something, but we ended up not being able to make it far enough.  We had to turn around in order to make it down in time before sunset.  We started from the house walking at 10:15.  We didn't make it home til after 5:30.  Man, we were exhausted!! We walked pretty much the entire way.  Just up the mountain it was about 13 kilometers!  We figured we walked about 17 miles in total that day.  My legs are feeling it today!  The views were beautiful, though, and I was thankful I was smart and brought my nice camera this time!  

My days are coming to an end here.  I'm beginning to recognize that so many things are my "lasts".  I'm treasuring my last moments with the Quiroga family and the new friends I have made here.  I will miss this place so much, and will always treasure it.  I hope to be back!!

Prayer requests:

• That I would be able to really cherish and take in these last days.  
• For safety and good travels as I travel to Santa Cruz on Saturday and then have to spend the night in a hotel before flying out to the USA on Sunday morning.
• That I would feel peace as I have to leave this place and am able to say good-byes and feel some sort of finality..
• That God would not stop working in me, but that I would continue to learn and grow in these last moments and days, and also as I return home and have to adjust to home once again.
• Pray for our work at the center this week.  The kids are still on vacation, so we are deep cleaning this week!  

Adios y vaya con Dios,

Breanna

Mama Toty dominating one of the games at the baby shower!  You can tell she's had some experience ;)

The kiddos singing one day at VBS!

Me and Natasha at her quince!

At one of the highest points we made it to on our hike....overlooking the beautiful city of Cochabamba.

"Porque para Dios no hay nada imposible"...Lucas 1:37

Trust in God... Nothing is impossible for God.  

That is the theme we have been focusing this week's VBS for the kiddos at the center on.  Luke 1:37 is the verse they have been memorizing.  It has been a great first two days of VBS.  Tuesday and Wednesday we shared the stories of God calling Abraham and Daniel and the Lion's Den.  The kids have really seemed to enjoy it so far!  The kids have learned a lot about what it means to truly trust God, follow Him even when you don't know where He may be leading you, and that His plan is the best plan for our lives.  

But I have also had to take that verse and those words to heart.  Yesterday we heard news that there was going to be protests and blockades today.  Those happen occasionally here.  Basically, the trufi drivers or bus drivers are protesting for something.  It often has to do with the transportation.  Well, that means there is no transportation today.  They usually last just 24 hours, unless they come to an agreement before then.  None of the trufis or buses are running on these days because they are on strike and/or because of the large amount of blockades set up around the city.  Taxis and personal cars are the only means of transportation, but that is if they can get around.  

Unfortunately, we knew what that meant for us.  We would not be able to get up to the center.  That means no construction in the morning.  And possibly no VBS in the afternoon.  Bummer.  That was hard news to hear.  After all our hard work to prepare a 4-day VBS, we would have to cut out one day if the protests continued through the afternoon... And that also means for me 1 less day with the kiddos.  As of now, we haven't heard any news of them coming to an agreement and it's close to noon here.  We usually leave around 1:30 for the center.  

Last night I had to come to terms with the fact that all I can do about it is pray.  And trust.  Just like the kids have been learning.. Anything is possible with God.  If I'm standing in front of them every day preaching that, I need to believe it myself, right?  I knew that all I could do is pray, wait, and pray some more.  And trust that God will work it out for the best.  If it isn't possible to have VBS this afternoon, we will just adjust.  We will rearrange the schedule for tomorrow and just make it work.  And it will all come together.  Because I trust that God will work it out for the best.  Not that this was an easy realization to come to at all.  It does really stink that we probably will be having one less day of VBS.  And I will probably only have one more day with all the kiddos at the center...and then a morning of experiments with the older students.  

VBS has been so fun so far, though.  It has definitely been stressful.  And it hasn't all been easy.  Arranging everything, preparing everything, and making it all come together was difficult and trying at times.  Before we began Tuesday, I didn't know how it was going to all go down.  And again, all I could do about it was pray and hope for the best!  God definitely blessed our plans, and it went really well!  We adjusted and learned from our first day (like all great teachers do!) and the second day went well, also!  We have a time of singing at the beginning.  After that we split the kids into age-level groups.  They go through centers of games, a drama story, and a craft.  They also get a snack in one of the centers.  I have been in the drama center, so I have been part of preparing and being a part of the story we share with them about the Bible each day.  It has been a lot of fun to see them learning and participating!  I can't wait to see how the next day(s) go!  I am confident that they will walk away learning a lot about trusting God.

Some prayer requests:

• I have definitely had some of my hardest days while here in this past week.  I think the mix of starting to miss people at home more, the stress of preparing VBS, and the anxiety of looking forward to having to leave the people here have really taken a toll on me.. Prayers for strength, perseverance, and that I would really finish out my last week and a half strong!
• It looks like I picked up pink eye somehow... I woke up this morning with a nasty, pink eye.  Not fun, so pray that it would go away soon!
• Pray for the protests and blockades going on.  Pray that they would be peaceful.  Pray that they would be able to find an agreement...and God-willing before VBS so that we are able to have it this afternoon!
• Pray that God would continue to work on my heart and teach me things and open my eyes.  I have really been trying to dig into His word and use these last two weeks fully, so that I am able to come away with a deeper relationship with Him and a better understanding of this world.  He has been doing some great things in me so far!

Trust in Him!  Anything is possible with God on your side!

Adios y vaya con Dios,

Breanna